Ask Tia Juana

     Tia Juana will cheerfully provide advice for anyone that asks.  Just mail your questions to “Ask Tia Juana” at PO Box 8, Van Horn, Texas 79855.  All questions will remain anonymous unless there is a chance for extortion.  Disclaimer:  Tia Juana is not a licensed counselor or therapist and none of the advice should be considered professional.

Dear Tia,

I work in a small office with all women, and it never fails that when I go to the bathroom, I invariably sit in a puddle on the toilet seat.  It is not only upsetting, it grosses me out!  I know several of my friends who never sit on a toilet set, but instead “hover” over it because they are afraid they are going to catch some weird disease.  It never fails that they miss, causing a big mess for the next person.  I have an idea who the guilty person is but I don’t know how to tell her to please either sit down or clean up her mess, she doesn’t take any criticism very well.

Wet Cheeks

Dear Cheeks,

I can’t think of anything more disgusting than rushing to the bathroom and sitting in a big, wet puddle of someone else’s body fluids.  If you know who the culprit is, then you need to tell her that you don’t appreciate her selfish behavior.  She may be unaware that her thoughtlessness is causing you such distress, not to mention, a soggy bottom.  If all else fails, ask your boss to buy some commode seat covers for those who are phobic about sitting down.  Good luck and stay dry!


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