Tia Juana will cheerfully provide advice for anyone that asks. Just mail your questions to “Ask Tia Juana” at PO Box 8, Van Horn, Texas 79855. All questions will remain anonymous unless there is a chance for extortion. Disclaimer: Tia Juana is not a licensed counselor or therapist and none of the advice should be considered professional.
Dear Tia,
I grew up going to church every Sunday, and my mother would have had a fit if I had worn shorts or anything other than clothes that covered practically every inch of me. Chewing gum was totally out of the question and considered an ultimate sign of disrespect and a sin, right up there with serial murder. Now when I go to church, I see not only kids, but also adults that look like they just woke up, wearing shorts, flip-flops and chewing away on wads of gum that makes them look like hamsters. I try to pay attention to the church service, but I am so distracted, that I feel like I didn’t get anything spiritually from the service. I know I shouldn’t judge, but…
Church Lady
Dear Church Lady,
While I agree that ideally church goers should not dress like they are going to a beach party, I think that the fact that they are at church instead of home in bed, should earn them some points with the man upstairs. However, chewing gum is a different matter. As one of my professors liked to say when he caught someone chewing gum in class, “The only difference between a cow chewing its cud and someone chewing gum is the intelligent look on the cow’s face!” Parents should monitor their children’s dress and impress on them that they should make an effort not to be mistaken for a bus rat. Having said that, mind your own business and worry about your soul instead of being the fashion police.
