Ask Tia Juana

     Tia Juana will cheerfully provide advice for anyone that asks.  Just mail your questions to “Ask Tia Juana” at PO Box 8, Van Horn, Texas 79855.  All questions will remain anonymous unless there is a chance for extortion.  Disclaimer:  Tia Juana is not a licensed counselor or therapist and none of the advice should be considered professional.

Dear Tia,

Please don’t get me wrong…I am not a fashion snob and I love my dad, HOWEVER, he has to be either blind or clueless!  Every time we have to go to a party, or dinner or even church, I cringe at the outfits he picks out.  Usually, as long as the colors are close, he thinks that his choices are acceptable, but it could be striped pants with a flowered shirt and WHITE socks!  If a tie is involved, it’s even worse, since he still has the skinny, woven ties that were popular in the 70’s, or the 8-inch ties popular after that.  How do we get dad to get a clue?

Fashion police

Dear Fashion,

I firmly believe that some men are missing a fashion gene, (not jean)!  From experience, I can tell you that simply telling your father that what he is wearing does not really match, or is hideous, will do nothing to dissuade him from mixing and NOT matching.  This calls for aggressive action such as “accidently” spilling bleach on his favorite fuchsia and green plaid pants, or simply making some other atrocious garments disappear and help him look for them to avoid suspicion.  You can assuage your guilt by buying him some matching outfits, but don’t be surprised if he mixes those as well.  Stick to solids and buy him some dark socks, BUT, tell him not to wear them with sandals!