Ask Tia Juana

     Tia Juana will cheerfully provide advice for anyone that asks.  Just mail your questions to “Ask Tia Juana” at PO Box 8, Van Horn, Texas 79855.  All questions will remain anonymous unless there is a chance for extortion.  Disclaimer:  Tia Juana is not a licensed counselor or therapist and none of the advice should be considered professional.s

Dear Tia,

I am really dreading the upcoming holidays, especially Thanksgiving!  Every year, it’s the same fight over the dressing.  My sister, who thinks she should be on Iron Chef, insists on bringing the dressing, which is practically inedible.  I always make a smaller batch in secret and manage to serve it to my immediate family, who also think that the sister’s dressing tastes like paste.  I don’t know how many more years I’ll be able to fake liking the dressing, especially since she goes on and on about her secret ingredients, which I’m sure include soap!  Help!

Gagging in Van Horn

Dear Gagging,

Since the name of the holiday is “Thanksgiving,” I think you should be thankful that 1) you have a sister, 2) she only cooks the dressing, 3) she only cooks once a year, 4) you have a strong stomach.   This year, you could suggest that your family has decided to branch out from the traditional Thanksgiving dinner, and try something else like prime rib or leg of lamb, neither which should be served with dressing.  Tell her to take a break, relax, and let you do all the cooking since she has served honorably for years.  Good luck!