Ask Tia Juana

     Tia Juana will cheerfully provide advice for anyone that asks.  Just mail your questions to “Ask Tia Juana” at PO Box 8, Van Horn, Texas 79855.  All questions will remain anonymous unless there is a chance for extortion.  Disclaimer:  Tia Juana is not a licensed counselor or therapist and none of the advice should be considered professional.

Dear Tia,

I am the sole caretaker of both of my elderly, sick parents.  I also have to hold down a job and I am getting to the end of my patience because I am so tired and have no relief.  It’s not like I don’t have brothers and sisters, but they don’t live in the same town, and they always seem to come up with endless excuses as to why they can’t help with our parents’ care.  I love my parents dearly, and am happy that I can be around for them, but I can’t help but feel resentment for my siblings who are able to lead their own lives without a worry about us.  I am no spring chicken myself, and don’t know how much longer I can do this on my own.

Need a break

Dear need,

The selfishness of family members never ceases to amaze.  Your case is not the exceptions…there is always one family member that has to take the majority of the responsibility for taking care of elderly or ill parents, and the rest of the siblings are only too happy for the one family member to do so.  It is usually the daughter, because heaven forbid, the daughter-in-law be inconvenienced, which usually results in arguments with the son.  You need to put your foot down, and tell your siblings you are taking a break.  Ask them to either help you themselves, or contribute toward getting some caretakers during your much- needed break.  Don’t take no for an answer.  As consolation, you will not have any regrets about not doing enough for your parents when they are gone, while your siblings will always look back and regret their indifference when it’s too late.


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