Advice Column – Ask Tia Juana

     Tia Juana will cheerfully provide advice for anyone that asks.  Just mail your questions to “Ask Tia Juana” at PO Box 8, Van Horn, Texas 79855.  All questions will remain anonymous unless there is a chance for extortion.  Disclaimer:  Tia Juana is not a licensed counselor or therapist and none of the advice should be considered professional.

Ask Tia Juana

Dear Tia,

I have a friend, who may not be one for long, who seems obsessed with symptoms.  Everyday is a new litany of symptoms.  Of course, because he Googles everything, he thinks that a simple sore throat is diphtheria, a tummy ache is cholera, and of course a headache must mean a stroke!  He’s normally a funny, engaging person, but this sudden attack of hypochondria is wearing me out!  Of course he’s had everything tested and everything is always normal, but that is not enough to convince him that he doesn’t have to call the priest for last rites.  If things don’t change soon, I may have to start making excuses to not be around him.  What do you suggest?

In sickness & in health

Dear In Sickness,

I haven’t been feeling so well myself! LOL!  Seriously, this condition is more common than you think, but unfortunately, there is no medication for non-existent ailments.  I would attempt trying to change the subject every time he brings up symptoms of any kind, eventually he should get the hint.  If he is too dense to realize that he is getting on your last nerve, just tell him straight up how you feel…it’s possible that he doesn’t realize that he is an annoying, self-absorbed hypochondriac.  Make sure you tell him you love him anyway.

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