Tia Juana will cheerfully provide advice for anyone that asks. Just mail your questions to “Ask Tia Juana” at PO Box 8, Van Horn, Texas 79855. All questions will remain anonymous unless there is a chance for extortion. Disclaimer: Tia Juana is not a licensed counselor or therapist and none of the advice should be considered professional.
Ask Tia Juana,
My best friend and I like to travel and we take turns taking our vehicles. I have always been a careful driver and after taking several defensive driving courses, I consider myself a good driver. However, whenever we go in my friend’s vehicle, I find myself tense, and usually have a tension headache from the stress of my friend’s horrendous driving habits. She is usually reserved, calm, patient and easy-going, but as soon as she gets behind the wheel, she turns into Dannika Patrick, the female racecar driver, and becomes aggressive, impatient, rude and potentially dangerous. Her worst habit is tailgating, driving about 2 feet from the car in front of her, until she bullys the driver to move over. She changes lanes constantly and curses like a sailor at other drivers if they dare get in her way. How can I gently refuse to drive with her without losing her friendship? Did I mention that my friend is 67+ years old?
I don’t understand the reluctance in telling your friend that she is a horrible driver that you don’t trust anymore, and who causes you emotional and physical distress. Tell her that’s it’s your issue, not hers, and that you would prefer to use your own vehicle and drive. If she refuses, take your own vehicle. She will eventually agree or maybe you should a friend who is a better driver, but you are well within your rights to refuse to ride with a maniac. Good luck!