Tia Juana will cheerfully provide advice for anyone that asks. Just mail your questions to “Ask Tia Juana” at PO Box 8, Van Horn, Texas 79855. All questions will remain anonymous unless there is a chance for extortion. Disclaimer: Tia Juana is not a licensed counselor or therapist and none of the advice should be considered professional.
If I don’t vent to someone, I feel like I am going to explode! I go to the same church as a lady that I know who starts trashing people as soon as she gets out of church. She is always looking to gossip about people and I have heard that she has gone as far as writing letters to peoples’ jobs trying to get them in trouble or fired. But every Sunday, she pretends to be holier-than-thou while most people know what she is really about. I know that I shouldn’t feel this way because the Bible tells us we shouldn’t judge, but I get really angry when I see what a hypocrite she is. Should I confront her and tell her that I am on to her?
Biting My Tongue
It is perfectly normal human behavior to feel as you do when you see hypocrisy in action. It sounds as though your “Church Lady” is a self-righteous individual who sees herself as judge and jury for others and yet, fails to see her own faults. She sees her behavior as perfectly acceptable and even feels it is her duty to gossip about or report perceived wrongs. Individuals like her are usually extremely unhappy and try to make their lives better by finding fault with others’ lives. Avoid the urge to confront her because you will never convince her that her behavior is deplorable. Save your breath and take comfort in the knowledge that she is not fooling anyone because others are aware of and have even been victims of her behavior, and that ultimately, she will be judged by a Higher Power.