Ask Tia Juana

Dear Tia,

I know that there are support groups for many addictions, from drugs and alcohol to gambling, but I am looking for a support group for someone who is addicted to shopping on QVC and HSN.  Nearly everyday, I come home to a new shipment from one or the other, and I am afraid of what my wife has ordered now.  It started innocently enough with the “world’s best waffle maker.”  It was supposed to change anyone’s boring breakfast to one that would rival breakfast at IHOP, however, we have only had waffles one time since the purchase.  We now have a specific appliance for cooking rice, steaming vegetables, cooking pasta without water, a chopper, juicer, knife sharpener, a lifetime supply of sponges, a pressure washer with the power of a spray bottle, wines of the month, a course on getting rich with real estate and two commercial mixers, one which is stored in the water heater closet since there is no more room in the kitchen!  The list is endless, with every item paid for in 100 “value or flex pays” of only $2.39 per month.

I can totally understand that shopping here in Van Horn is somewhat lacking and to the point that we get excited when we see the Dollar Store truck pull up because that means new merchandise that we can’t live without.  However, when the wife’s car is a mobile storeroom for packages from TV shopping, I think it is time for an intervention.  Please help!!

– Broke in Van Horn

Dear Broke,

According to the postal and FedEx workers here in Van Horn, your problem is not an isolated one and is part of a more serious condition—shopping deficiency syndrome.  Unfortunately, at this time, there is no cure or support group that I know of for this condition.  However, I have heard of a gadget, probably found on QVC or HSN that can jam selected television channels and prevent binge shopping.  If that doesn’t work, and if you can wait long enough, your home and car may qualify to star in an episode of “Hoarders,” which will result in the cleaning out of your home.  Let me know when your episode will be on!

Tia